Mostly Grey's...

Yesterday was the big group outing for DEFY! - hiking a 14er, Grey's Peak. We were all to meet at the gym at 530 am, so that we could get an early start. I went to bed early hoping to get some good quality sleep,which had eluded me the last couple of nights. This was not to be. Instead, I was awake virtually every hour, in fact, I believe the only hour I truly slept through was 3 am, instead I woke up at 405am - missed by a hair!

I got up when the alarm went off, lack of sleep for the last 3 nights , left me feeling hungover. Yes, that's correct - I didn't drink an ounce but I was so freakin' tired, that I felt like old Capt'n Morgan had paid me a terrible visit. I was gonna do this though. I packed up my bag, grabbed my "waterproof" jacket, a couple bars and headed on out. Jonathan, JC, Patty and myself hopped into Patty's jeep, clad in nothing but the bikini top (the jeep that is!!) It was an excellent ride to the mountain - beautiful morning. It didn't even get chilly in the back of the jeep until we got to within a mile or so of the exit. We all met up at the entrance, and after a false start, we all piled into Michael's Land Rover. I ended up with Laura on my lap, I think my leg position was a bit off, because by the time we all fell out, my left knee was feeling a bit tweaky. Kind of like an overstretched ligament or something. Not bad, just not quite 100% right. Finally, we were here, and off we went, all 9 or so of us, up the trail to start the big hiking adventure.

We started down the trail, it was pretty evident there were a couple different paces. All was fine and dandy, the scenery was beautiful, it was just good. The higher the trail went the more rocky the terrain, it was almost like the trail was cut out of a rockslide. Then we hit it. The point where the world fell away from the side of the trail. One wrong move and you would plummet to your death - maybe not death, but at minimum several broken bones and a whole lotta pain. As I walked, the world on my right slowly morphed and fell away into a steeper and more menacing ledge. I tried my best to keep my game face on, not to let my fear of heights overtake me. It worked fairly well, until I hit it...the point...the end game point. Something I saw said "NOMORE!". I stopped....that's it, sheer terror overtook me. At that point I crumpled - I'm not sure if I did literally, but I know I did mentally. The only reason I didn't whimper and say I had to go back at that moment was because I couldn't decide which was going to be worse - going forward, or turning around. Before I could make that decision, JC holds out his hand, tells me to take it and he would help me. I took his hand, and kept my eyes on the ground and towards the mountain. I was hyperventilating as I took each precarious step. Patty offered to take the backpack from me....backpack?? what backpack?? I couldn't concentrate on anything except my next step. I gotta be honest, I'm not much of a hand holder, overall I hate asking for or needing help, but the calm, confidence that JC exuded really helped me put my trust in him. Once we got through Terror Ridge (my new name for it!), all the stress, fright, and panic that I held in, came bursting forth in the form of tears. Big, sobbing, gut wrenching tears. UGH!

We continued on up the path, it was still steep, still rocky - but not as bad as Terror Ridge. As we got closer to the top, the clouds started moving in. We were moving at a very slow pace - having to stop every 50 feet or so because of the weariness and altitude. We saw the end - it was in sight, it looked so close, and yet so far. Then we heard it, in the not so far away distance....the grumble of thunder. Not menacing, or really threatening yet, but definitely shooting us a bit of a forewarning of things to come. We had another 20-30 minutes to get to the top. Because of the weather, the slower group decided it was probably a good idea to turn around. Sounds a bit lame, but actually, it turns out it was a very good decision! I liked the idea, primarily because of the thunder, possible impending weather, and the fact that I know that I am slower going down than I am going up. I am not a mountain goat, and steep, rocky grades, with drop offs freak me out a bit, I'm not gonna lie. So we started our descent, while Jonathan and Melissa hoofed it on up to the top - they were just hangin' with us pokey people to be nice. I knew they would get up there and meet back up with us before we got too far.

Just as I suspected, I was the slow one on the way down. I had everyone go ahead of me at first. My tension on the descent was high....very high. Once Jonathan and Melissa caught up with us, we took a tad bit of a rest, when we got up to go again, somehow I ended up in front....leading the pack at a snail's reticent pace. At this point, I cannot lie - the stress valve gave way again. I was just walking, and concentrating on not falling, with tears streaming down my face. I was in the front of the pack, so I don't know if anyone noticed..... My giveaway may have been the fact that I didn't talk at all - I couldn't or I would have ended up sobbing and blubbering uncontrollably. The most frustrating thing about being female is the tear thing. I don't mind the weeping once in a while, it's a great stress release, but once the tears start, they think it's a free range party on my face for the next 24 hours.

We finally reached a spot where the grade wasn't so steep, and I was able to get it together again. Finally, it was a matter of just walking. However, I knew Terror Ridge was coming up, and the thought of the downhill on that, possibly in the rain was daunting. I put that thought right where it needed to go, in Denial Land. We finally hit Terror Ridge, and I think I had hit my exhaustion point , I just wanted to get through it before the rain. I simply clutched JC's hand, hyper-ventilated a bit, and got through it without facing the dreaded tears again. YAY ME! Finally, a small victory over the weepiness!

Within 5 minutes of completing Terror Ridge, the rain came. Big buckets, with some tiny hail. Well, my trusty old Red Wings windbreaker is not so waterproof. I ended up walking the last hour and a half or so drenched. Soaking wet - head to toe. I think this means that I am not such a good adventure hiker - not really prepared for the worst, because in denial land, the worst doesn't happen! By the time we got to the car, where everyone else was waiting for us, I could barely move. My goal was to get out of my jacket and long sleeve shirt, just leave my tank top on - skin will dry faster than the clothes. Unfortunately, by the time we got there, I had a bit of a difficult time moving....here's the really sad part. I had to ask for help undressing - ok, maybe it wasn't really undressing, but I couldn't get my jacket over my head by meself. Once again, JC hops to the rescue!! Good man - that JC! After adventure ride #2 in Michael's Land Rover, we got to the parking lot. I couldn't wait to get my shorts off and put on my happy lined pants. In the rain - in the parking lot, I just stripped 'em off - at that point, I just didn't care. Now - it may not sound that strange, but I am really not one to drop my pants in front of a whole group of people!

As it turns out, Patty's bikini clad jeep, is not so water proof. So JC and I ended up riding all the way home in the Land Rover . I for one, fully took advantage of his excellent butt-warming seats!! I love those things! We stopped at Tommyknockers for a yummy buffalo burger and although technically not on the diet plan, a beer. A giant tasty beer. I felt like I really deserved it!!

All in all, a good day.

Nothing beats spending time with good people, and every last person on the trip fits into that category.

Short trip to Reality-ville.

Much as I love living in the lovely land of Denial - I think it's time to face the reality of this Powerlifting competition, that I seem to have signed up for.

I've been going to the "gettin' stronger" workouts, Patty has kept reminding me that we need to go to the store to buy our "oh so fashionable" singlets almost daily - so you would think that denial land would be in the far distance. Not so much, my affection for the land of Denial is not something to be taken lightly. That being said - I also know there is no backing out at this point.

So - my thoughts on the whole thing......

1. I need to lose 7 lbs before the competition - I'm not sure why this is kind of a big deal to me - but I do NOT want to be in the "heavyweight" division. This is mental stigma for me - I believe it stems from watching my brothers wrestle in high school, and when they didn't drop below the heavyweight division - they had to deal with some monsters!! So, since coming back from North Dakota, I've been really watching what I eat - so far successfully (ok, it's only been 2 days...) So, my first competition goal - is to avoid the heavyweight division.

2. Deadlifts - Ironically, I'm feeling best about the DL's overall. I think my biggest fear is that I'll pull so hard, and put so much into it that I will have a bit of an "oops" moment.....which will throw me off and I'll dump the bar. Doesn't happen much anymore, but when it does, I have to say, I do get a bit discombobulated.

3. Squats - I'm having issues with the squats. I can go heavy - but for some reason, when I go below parallel with 180+, I tend to relax at the bottom. I'm not sure why this happens, but I can kind of equate the feeling to finding the balance point when you're upside down on the rings. I know it's not good. But when I focus on keeping everything tight the whole way - I'm not making it quite down far enough.....when I'm not that focused on keeping things tight, I can go low, but I hit that relaxation point. Bizarre - I think I must be a bit of a freak with this. So, need to work on that the next couple weeks.

4. Bench - I'm in a big freakin' rut. I have definitely not hit a max in about a year. In fact, I think it was probably close to a year ago that I hit 150. Since then I've hit 155 twice. Kinda sad. Tonight, the bench felt terrible - just off, which bums me out, because I went in thinking I was gonna rock it out. My shoulder felt better than it has in a while - no twinges or tweaks. I felt good!.....but alas, it was just not to be a good BP day.

5. UGHHH - the outfit. I don't know what psychopath decided that everyone had to wear singlets, but that is really just cruel and unusual punishment - especially out in public. Sheesh, my biggest nightmare is that I'll look like a big blob of stuffed sausage...or a pumpkin type figure with a large protruding belly with two boobs sitting on top. Just not a pretty picture. I think, I can delude myself into believing I look better than I do, as long as I don't see any pictures. Pictures have an evil way of booting you out of denial land and giving you a hard dose of reality.

I guess I just hope I can figure out why the heck I'm in such a chronic state of no improvement on my BP and my Squat, and if I'm gonna do this competition, at least make a decent show of it.

On another note, I go to the Endocrinologist on Tuesday, to see what is up with my thyroid meds suddenly going all wonky. We'll see if I can get that straightened out before 2010. Maybe something in my thyroid/endocrine system is holding me back.....probably not, but it's a thought......something.

DRATS! I know - it's just an excuse. Nevermind - disregard that last sentence, I refuse to make excuses. Excuses are just crap, and a way of deluding yourself into thinking that you are better than you are. So no excuses, it is what it is, and I'll just have to figure out why.

UGGGHHHH......oh yeah - and here's what I do know.

So, it's been a while. Too long.  There's been all kinds of things going on.  Mostly heavy lifting...with this meet thing, coming up, it's been a focus.  Not to mention, with a mass of gym deserters recently, I want to be kickass!!  So, I've been following the "gettin' Stronger" workouts fairly closely.  I've found good things and bad things that I do.

1. Deadlifts - Now that I've had my "AHA" moment, I just need to keep that in mind.  The good news - I pulled a 305...and while it still had a hitch - it wasn't squirrelly like the first time I pulled 300.  Baby steps, right?

2. Back Squats - I still haven't hit the 235 max again.  But, I did find that when going down low - below parallel, when the weight gets heavy, I'll relax at the bottom of the squat.  That's not so good.    I'm working on not doing that.  I got 1 good one in at 225.  Went for the 2nd, but that was a no-go.

3. Bench Press - my bench is off.    I think a major part of it is the hitch in my arm. Melissa worked out a big knot in my shoulder, and I rearranged my office.  The hitch appears to be a bit better - only time will tell though.

The only Crossfit metcon workout that I've done recently is "the Chief".  This was on Patty's birthday, which was an awesome day.   My goal was to beat my previous score of 15.    Jonathan was persuaded by Patty to do this with us.  I did my best to pace myself with him - which worked really well for the first round...then it slowly fizzled.  I ended up getting in 16 rounds plus a single clean.  So I was quite happy with that.

Now to the frustration that was today.  I have to admit, and I'm not certain why - but today was an epically frustrating day.  Probably the most frustrated I've been - and I think it's because 

1. I was awake  WAY too early this morning

2. some big allergy thing blew up overnight, and I've been sneezing and snorting all day - which irritates the hell outta me.

3. I can't get the oly lifts quite right......no matter how much I try.  I know what needs to be done, but my body won't do it.

....at that point, I was getting so frustrated..I couldn't do anything.  I know the frustration was apparent, but there was nothing I could do.  I just need to figure these out.  Oly lifts and pullups - I'm almost beginning to think I'll never get either of them.

Kinda hard to be "kickass" with that mentality though.....shake it off.  Tomorrow is another day.

The bean concept -I just don't get it!

I'm trying to get my head around a concept that makes absolutely - zero sense to me.  It's part of the whole "Paleo"eating thing. I get most of it, and it makes sense...all except the legume thing.  Legumes and beans are bad.  I don't get that. I understand cookies, cake, and ice cream (wah!) being bad (yes, I know, not a real difficult concept), I even understand the bread, rice, pasta, and potatoes being bad.  I'll even go so far as to say, I understand why dairy would be in that category...not that I necessarily agree, but at least I understand it.

But really, beans??  So green beans are the enemy?? - ok, maybe not enemy, but a bit of a foe.  I'm not certain I'll ever be able to get my head around that one - and I'm not sure I'll ever want to.  Taking bread, pasta, rice, cookies, candy, cake, ice cream etc, out of a diet is hard enough, but then to take beans out?? No.  just no.  You just can't convince me that green beans, and black beans are the devils candy....just not gonna happen.

Now onto the last week or so.  I've got to get better at this whole keeping track thing, because going off memory, is not so good.

Last Friday, we did 5 minutes each of Turkish Getups (16kg), Cleans (95#) and Handstand pushups for reps.  With a 2 minute rest in between.

We've only done this one once before, but I remember REALLY liking it.  That like, proved true the second time around. In fact I was downright geeked after this one.  I feel like I kicked some good old fashioned ass on it.

On the TGU's I got in 19.  Way up from the 13 I did the last time.

Cleans - 29, again, way the hell up from the 18 I did the first time - although, I will say - the first time I did squat cleans, this time, power cleans.  There is a huge difference between the two.

Handstand pushups - These were done hook feet, but I was really working on full range of motion - I may have been 1/2 inch off the ground on some of them, but I know the range was a heck of alot better than it has been in the past.  I got in 35, up from 27. 

To say I was stoked when I left was an understatement.  I actually felt like I totally kicked ass on a workout, and I haven't felt like I have done that in a while.  

Saturday, we worked on Bench and DL's.  My bench was not so good.   We won't even go there. Deadlifts, I worked on my "breakthrough", and I think most of it carried over, except when we got to the uber-heavy weight.  I was able to do a set of 4 at 275.  Then went for a 1 rep PR.  HA! Not so much.  I tried 305. Getting it off the floor is the easy part...it's the part when the bar is between your ankle and knee cap that I tend to lose it.  Oh well, next time I just might be able to do it. I was probably a bit worn out by the time we got there.  I will say this, when we got to the park to "play"   ...me=toast.  I had a completely empty gas tank.  Note to self - bring food next time!

Tuesday - Box Squats  3-3-3-3-3-3-3
These are basically squats, but you actually sit, and kind of rock 'em forward.  Kind of funky.

I did these 135/155/165/185/195/185/165.  Not spectacular, but not bad, we were working on form.

Tonight - 4 rounds x 25 reps each of Wallball/Slamball.

This is such a pure and innocent sounding one.  It's not.  It's evil.  I tried to keep pace with Jimmie tonight - it worked fairly well, until about the last round, then I about croaked.  This one takes the wind out of you, like nothing else.  I ended up finishing better than last time - taking off about 1:10, with a time of 11:12.  I said I would go up in weight if I got my time under 10 minutes.  So, I guess that means, I'm staying with the 16 lb balls next time..  

That's it, came home feeling pretty good.  Then read that beans were bad, and have been slightly obsessed in my puzzlement since then.   If beans are bad, there's just no justice in this world.